Living by Grace in 2014

     I woke up on January 1st, 2014 amazed that it was a start of a new year.  How did 2013 go by so quickly and was I ready to start another year?  I laid in bed for a while reflecting on the changes, challenges,joys and frustrations of the previous year.  On one hand, calenders don´t mean much to God, He is far above time and space.  He calls us to live day by day, focusing on each moment as we live for Him. On the other hand, the start of a new year is a chance to reevaluate our lives and make a new start.
     I´ve never been one to make new year´s resolutions, believing that as I become aware of areas that I need to grow in my life, I need to work on them at the moment.  Besides, how many times do I swear I´m going to change, do things differently and then fall back into the same patterns?  No, I don´t like new year´s resolutions so I don´t think I´ll start now.
     However, my year did get off to a rough start.  A couple days before a precious friend expressed to me some things I had done that were hurtful.  Words I said, indirect comments and attitudes that were unkind and upsetting. Of course I didn´t mean to do or say these things, it wasn´t planned but, it wasn´t the first time I´d had to be shown my errors. I appreciated her honesty in sharing her feelings and only wish she had done it sooner. I was forced to stop, pray and reflect on what had happened.  I could see the things that had led up to the problem and recognize there are always two sides to every conflict.  Still, I knew I was wrong and I was truly sorry.
      But, what to do when sorry isn´t enough?  Paul in Corinthians commends the believers because their sorrow led to a zeal for repentance, "godly sorrow brings repentance."  I must demonstrate my sorrow and repentance by my actions, changing the ways I act that hurt others and striving to do things differently.  That is the challenge. Sometimes words aren´t enough, and then I despair that I can truly change.  Thinking on this I read, also in Corinthians how Paul, struggling with something in his own life (the thorn he speaks of) hears the Lord's words to him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." He draws the conclusion, "Therefore I will rather boast in my infirmities,that the power of Christ may rest upon me....For when I am weak, then I am strong." ( 2 Corinthians 12:7-10) Does this apply also to sin in my life?  Those things I do that we know are not pleasing to God?  When I complain, quarrel, am selfish and unthoughtful?  I think it does, only as I truly repent and seek His grace, forgiveness and help, and then am willing to work at it.  I always hear about "surrender all to the Lord...throw yourself on Him when you don´t know what to do."  But how do I do that?  I certainly cried my heart out to Him, repented of my sin and asked for help to do better.  But a few days I forget and I find I´ve gone and done it again.  This, I´m learning is where His grace and forgiveness come in.  As another dear friend reminded me, "Fold into what God wants here as He works in you and in them to become holy in all ways, not necessarily happy, but at least (or at most) holy and Christ like. It is not easy but God is at work in all of us through all of us." True, and no, not easy. My own wants and desires interfere, I want to be happy, yet I seek His grace to put His will and others needs and interests before my own.
     I often pray for Christians suffering great persecution for their faith. Our brothers in sisters in prison who suffer torture and the loss of home and land.  Women who have and become widows and now struggle to raise their children alone, because their husbands refused to renounce their faith in Christ.  Again I look at my own life and see how short I come of that kind of faith.  If I truly know, experience and live the love of Christ, then it will be a privilege to suffer for Him.  Oh, how I fear suffering!  Yet returning to the passage in Corinthians, I must trust that His grace is sufficient and I can count the loss of all things as gain for Him. Then, weather it´s something as simple ( yet as hard) as yielding my will to bless and honor others, or something as challenging as being persecuted for my faith in Christ, I can truly live for Him and become more like Him.
    Therefore, if you happen to read this blog and can relate to any of it, please let me know.  What are your challenges and struggles as you face a new year?
And pray for me that:  
1.  I will  think before I speak or act, seeking to put others first.
2. Learn to live God´s love and grace- having the courage to serve Him no matter what.
3. Accept His love and forgiveness, not living in self-condemnation or self-contempt, but trusting Him to change and mold me into His image.
Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog!  HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!  I pray that you too may experience God´s love and grace this coming year as you allow Him to mold you into His image.